Whole Thirty, Day Sixteen…..the day the wheels fell off the wagon.

I’ve been away at a staff retreat at a camp in Wisconsin for the past two days.  I knew before starting my whole 30 that these two days would be the most difficult part of my 30 days.  I told the camp I was gluten and dairy free, but you guessed it, that just means they had gluten free bread and non-dairy soy cheese available.  They did have a salad bar (no compliant dressing of course), but the meals just weren’t enough to fill me up.  I brought along some veggies, nuts, and fruit in my little cooler, which was good for awhile…

But then came the free booze.  Let just be honest, that’s really when the wheels fell totally off the wagon.  I made the conscious decision to go against my whole 30 and drink, and I have to just own that.  Which as I sit here now, I’m disappointed in myself because I had been doing so well prior to this.  However, on the other hand, I had a fun evening with my new co-workers that I am just beginning to get to know, enjoying drinks and conversation around the campfire.  That was really valuable as well.

However the alcohol also led to eating a reese’s, which IMMEDIATELY upset my stomach.  I also stayed up too late and got terrible sleep on a plastic mattresses.  And this afternoon, as we had more discussions and staff exercises, I was hungry and exhausted, and totally had a couple of bowls of popcorn.  Oh yeah…and a s’more, and perhaps some Doritos…which are the polar opposite of ANYTHING whole 30 compliant.  Why is it so easy to fall into that mindset of “Well, I messed up once, might as well just throw the whole dang thing out the window!?”  That way of thinking is so irrational, but that’s what has got the best of me on every past challenge or diet I’ve tried.  I think “Well I screwed up now, I’ll just re-start tomorrow.”  Or, “Forget this.  It’s too hard.  I just can’t do it.”  Also, one of my two friends who were doing this along with me had to quit because she caught an awful cold, so I’ve lost a lot of my support for this challenge.  Who would really notice if I just gave up?

So tonight, as I was wondering what I should do now that I am halfway through the whole 30 and had a significant set-back, I was thinking about what I said on day one: “Food is great, but it’s still just food.  I don’t want to bow down to worship ANYTHING but God.  So if I can’t go 30 days without a cookie or a glass of wine…what does that say about what I’m really living for?”  The book said processing through your cravings will reveal to you some of your messed up feelings about food, and these past couple days are proof of that.

I know I don’t want to just give up and walk away.  But then the question becomes, do I just fess-up to my flop and move forward through the next 14 days, or, do I start all over again?  Technically the “rules” say that if you eat something non-compliant, you should start over.  Which sounds like a total drag…but is it?  I wanted to do a whole 30 for my health, not just to be successful at a “diet.”  And in the words of the Hartwig’s:

The point of any elimination diet is to completely remove 100% of the potentially problematic foods from your life for a full 30 days straight. Without the complete removal, your body won’t experience what life is really like without these triggers. You may think one beer or one piece of pizza won’t really make a difference, but if you’re sensitive to these foods, you require only a tiny amount to break the Whole30 “reset”—to disrupt the gut, fire up the immune system, and potentially trigger the symptoms of your condition. Think about it like an allergy—if you’re truly allergic to peanuts or shellfish, how much does it take to provoke that allergic response? Just one tiny peanut or one bite of shrimp matters. And while we’re not just talking about allergies here, the principles are the same—the point of elimination is full elimination. – See more at: http://whole30.com/2014/06/really-start-whole30/#sthash.N0B6pqvZ.dpuf

So, tomorrow is my new day one.  And it’s gonna be awesome!!  These 16 days were like a trial run, and I’m not going to be defeated or give up.  I’m going to keep on cooking, meal planning, reading, listening to my podcasts, working it in the gym, but also take more time each day to process and reflect upon what I am doing.  I am moving forward with a joyful, humble heart, knowing that I am not perfect, but that this whole 30 is something that I CAN do.  It’s a new day!  And I am starting it all off by going to bed tonight RIDICULOUSLY early and having bacon and eggs for breakfast tomorrow.  Bam!

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